Dealing with Joy Limiting Expectations (#1)

Your expectations: Limiting or uplifting?

Are your expectations for yourself and others too high that they suck the joy out of you when they are not met as expected, or are they set at a flexible level so that you have room for grace, learning, and growth for yourself and others? When we become obsessed with perfection in all areas, we do end up with frustration in most areas. Here are three considerations for setting up uplifting expectations for joy:

Cultivate and strengthen flexibility in Expectations: Be a realistic optimist, and set your expectations with hope and thoughtfulness while expecting the unexpected. Nurture your happiness from within and manifest it on the outside. Let your quest for perfection don’t lead to dangerously limiting expectations that will, in turn, lead to frustrations and disappointments. Cultivating realistic expectations requires the awareness of people and situations changing or remaining as they are in favor of or against your expectations. This involves the cultivation of the fundamental principles of happy living in any uplifting interaction: dignity, authenticity, self-honesty, simplicity, life purpose, mutual respect, and trust.

Thoughtful acceptance and giving:  Thoughtful acceptance and giving require you to freely accept others for who they are without holding back, and freely give them without any expectation to get something in return. It’s about the willingness to accept and give without reservation and expectations. Everyone is unique, and all people have characters but not all characters are found in all people. Not everyone is going to look just like us, see things the way we do, dress as we do, organized as we are, or hold the same expectations. People have different values and standards. That’s why people can either be of blessings or lessons to us as we meet them. Learning to expect the unexpected gives you a better expectation.

Accepting and expecting the mixture of Life’s uncertainties: Research shows that our happiness can be directly relational to our state of mind. Expecting the unexpected helps you with the acceptance that life works in mysterious ways, and that we can enjoy the goodies when they come, and solve the difficulties when they surface while trying to minimize our stress and frustrations, and maximize our happiness and good mood.

Setting your expectations too high increases your chances of getting swamped in disappointments most of the time. Having no expectations at all or setting them too low might take away the motivation you can have to aspire and accomplish your goals. Therefore, setting your expectations at a flexible level provides you with the right amount of balance that you need to express and validate your emotions, and unleash your happiness as well. The balance between the borders of too high expectations and too low or no expectations can promote your healthy lifestyle, which will be free of the obsession with perfectionism.