We all want to succeed at what we do. We want to achieve our goals. We want things to go according to a specific plan or how we want them. We have specific expectations, and when they are not met, we get frustrated. When things don’t go our way, we feel powerless to change the outcome and our level of frustration goes up.
As humans, it is natural for our emotions to get heightened and frustration to set in. However, what causes us more pain is how we tend to manage our frustrations. Some of these coping strategies inflict physical pain on us. They dimmish our motivation, hinder our progress, suck up the joy in us, and dampen our day. When we are really looking forward to getting a snack or a drink from a vending machine and it proves to be difficult, we hit the machine. When we get a flat tire, we get frustrated and kick it. In other situations, we punch walls, scream, or even hit ourselves when the outcomes go against our expectations. Some people can lose their temper as they will lash out and end up saying or doing things that they will deeply regret later.
In addition to wasting energy, frustration can prove to be futile and destructive. It can push us to wallow in a form of self-pity that will demotivate our positive attitudes and obstructs our growth and achievement. It takes time to cultivate useful practices to manage frustration in ways that it doesn’t bring us down to negativity or low progress level.
Here are four of those daily practices (4 R’s):
Recognition & Responsibility: Recognize the situation you are going into. Recognize possible triggers for frustration. And recognize when your emotions are getting higher. Notice when you are beginning to lose it. Then take responsibility for how you are going to choose to react in the moment. Instead of shifting blame, try to use setbacks and disappointments as opportunities for learning and growing.
Realistic Thikng and Expectations: Learn to set realistic expectations for yourself, for situations, and for others. Always setting higher expectations equates to always leaving bigger room for frustration. When we always expect too much from others, we tend to focus on providing judgment and criticism instead of support and encouragement. Practice setting flexible expectations. Not too high. Not too low. But at a healthy level.
Reaching for the pace and not perfection: It’s okay to strive for excellence, but constantly striving for perfection has a higher tendency to impede your growth. It induces fear of making mistakes, fear of taking risks, and fear of the unknown. This slows down your growth professionally and personally in many ways.
Our obsession with perfection brings us frustration.
Release and Relive: Frustration cannot co-exist with an uplifting attitude. When you notice frustration rising from within you, be intentional about releasing that negative energy and replacing it with positive thoughts. Focus on reliving the positive moments from your past accomplishments. Releasing is about offering forgiveness to yourself, the situation, and others. Focus on developing a growth mindset at that moment with positive affirmations: “It’s frustrating, but it is what it is.” “It will get better next time.” “I will find another way out.” “Well, I don’t have control over the outcome, but I obviously have control over my reaction.” “There is obviously some misunderstanding here, and I need to calm down and try to bring understanding.” Reliving is about resetting and redirecting your focus. It’s about reclaiming your joy, rediscovering yourself, and taking control of the situation within you.
Reliving positive thoughts and attitude from within reflects positive reaction on the outside.
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